The People's Ruin
by Mischieffoal
Summary: Someone is about to reveal the existence of the People, and it's up to Juliet Butler to save the day this time... Set after "Sherlock - The Blind Banker" and "Artemis Fowl and the Atlantis Complex".
1. Chapter 1

_**New York, 7 p.m.**_

Juliet Butler would normally be having the time of her life, but today, even world class wrestling couldn't improve her mood. In a final move, she swung her head around and hit her opponent square on the nose with her jade hairpiece. She accepted the applause of the crowd with outward good spirits, but inside she just wanted to get home – surprisingly, wanted to be back at Fowl Manor with Dom and Arty. She cringed internally as she noticed her three friends (whose fault her foul mood was) clapping really loudly from the front row seats they'd insisted that she get them. She waved to Amy, Ginny and Lula to show that she'd heard, then walked off the stage to get changed in her dressing room – and have some time alone - before having to go out to eat with the girls. Juliet used to love times with her human friends, back when she didn't have to add human on the front because she thought that everyone was. But now, now that Holly, Mulch and Foaly had come into their lives, she was bored talking to them, the ordinary humans. As far as she was concerned, what was the point of talking about hairstyles and make-up when you can't mention the latest trend that had taken over Haven? She sighed as she pulled on a new red dress Arty had made her buy for herself when he had heard she was going to meet her friends, let her hair down and steeled herself for hours of girly talk… joy unbounded.


	2. Chapter 2

"Guess who's got a boyfriend?!" Amy shrieked as soon as they'd sat down in the nearest café.

Juliet grinned. "Another one? You got through boys like lipgloss!" The other two girls giggled into their cappuccinos as Amy stuck out her tongue at the WWF wrestler.

"Well, better than you – unless you've miraculously started dating?" Oh great, Juliet thought. They'd got to this subject already.

"Nah, not me, not yet."

"Not yet? You're twenty five, Jools," that was the girls' nickname for her, "Get a bloody boyfriend!" Ginny chastised her friend.

"Have you ever been interested in any boy, ever?" Lula asked.

"Well, no I—" Juliet began, but Amy interrupted.

"I don't think she's not interested, it's just that she scares them off! How many men have you nailed with your ponytail?"

Juliet laughed half-heartedly, then said, "It's not like that… I haven't really ever had a crush on a boy, I dunno, I just haven't…" She went quiet as she noticed the girls all looking at her.

"Have you ever been interested in _**anyone**_?" Lula asked again. Juliet squirmed.

"I—well, I—"

Ginny and Amy just laughed, but Lula caught Juliet's eye and raised her eyebrows. Juliet nodded slightly and gave a tiny sigh of relief. She could always count on Lula. "Come on, guys, she doesn't want to talk about it, does she?"

But before Lula could successfully change the subject, Amy joined in, "I noticed that nod, Jools!" She said cheekily. She thought for a moment, but no one dared interrupt as they all remembered the Chichester incident. A flash of understanding crossed Amy's face, and Juliet closed her eyes. Amy's eye widened. "So you are?!"

Always slow on the uptake, Ginny looked confused. "She is what?"

"Juliet Butler is gay!" Amy replied, a bit dazed still.

"She hasn't actually confirmed it yet." Lula said, continually protective. To save any more unnecessary embarrassment, Juliet hurriedly said "Yes, I'm gay."

"Wow, are you? That's awesome! My best friend's gay!"

"Have you fancied any _**girls **_then?"

"Do you fancy me?!"

The onslaught of jokey questions wasn't the reaction Juliet had expected, but humans will be humans.


	3. Chapter 3

It was one o'clock in the morning and Juliet Butler was sprawled all over her dressing room chair after the night out with the girls had finished in a noisy club with lots of alcohol. Juliet wouldn't normally drink, it was bad for her body and her fighting skills, but she'd needed something to calm her down and take her mind off the stupid reaction Amy, Ginny and Lula had had – they'd nearly forced her into asking out the first lesbian that walked into the New York club. Fortunately, with a little bit of persuasion (that's a nice way of saying professional Chinese Burns), they'd given up on being gay Cupid for her.

Juliet's arm crashed down onto the side table, but she didn't wake up. Her bedroom door opened quietly and two pairs of feet, one light, the other heavy, walked in. "Hmm. This wasn't how I expected find her." A cold voice said, which belonged to the lighter pair of feet. The other person sighed and picked up the girl in his massive arms, only to discover that she'd faking. When I say discover, I mean she punched him in the face.

"D'Arvit, Dom, you absolute _**idiot**_!" She jumped and for good measure slapped Artemis Fowl the Second in the face too. His reaction was priceless, but she wasn't in the giggling mood. "One more hour and they would have left me alone!"

Domitrov Butler frowned. "Who?"

"The girls." Juliet hissed through her teeth. "I know they're watching the CCTV and making sure I'm OK!"

"In my opinion, you did not look okay." Her brother answered.

"Well they are used to stupid people having too much to drink, and for them it would seemed better than wandering around or throwing up in the loo!" She groaned. "You ruin everything!"

Arty smiled slightly. "It might please you to know that we took the liberty of connecting one of our horsey friend's gadget to the CCTV leads outside your room." Juliet softened and gave Artemis a surprise hug, at which he looked quite baffled.

"Thank God for that. Does Foaly know you're using them?"

Her brother grinned. "Oddly enough, yes."

That threw Juliet. "Really? Why the hell is he co-operating with you?"

This time Artemis answered. "Because I suggested you as a great help in his current…" He paused as he searched for a suitable word, "…campaign."

Danger warnings started going off in the younger Butler's head. "I really don't want to know what this 'campaign' is, do I? Or what I have to do…"

When Artemis declined to reply, Butler grimaced and said, "Let's discuss this somewhere more… private."

_I __**definitely**_ _don't want to know… _Juliet decided.


	4. Chapter 4

Fowl Manor, 6 p.m. BST

Juliet was in the bed that was always reserved for her at Fowl Manor. It was nine o'clock in the evening on the day she'd faked being spectacularly drunk. She stared at the ceiling, trying as hard as possible to forget what Artemis had asked (not told, asked!) her to do during the day. _Foaly and the LEP could go stuff themselves – there was no __**way**__ she was helping them by - no, don't think about it._ She groaned – the last twenty-four hours had probably been the most embarrassing of her life. Also, how _**dare**_ Dom tell Arty about her… sexuality… without her permission? Someone knocked on her door. _D'Arvit!_ "Go away, Arty." She called out.

"I'm not Arty – hang on, when did you start calling him that?"

"I've always called, him that, Captain Short," Juliet sighed and reached over the press her hand against the finger print detector to unlock the door. "The question is, since when did the only female Recon officer call my employer that?!"

The auburn haired elf in front of her pretended not to have heard. Then she noticed Juliet, who had rather obviously just grabbed a sheet to cover what looked like her completely naked body. Holly Short raised an eyebrow, which is something elves are oddly good at.

"Shut up…" Juliet groaned and made herself look slightly more respectable. "I don't feel too good, Holl… Especially after what Arty told me that blooming centaur wants me to do."

Holly sat down on the end of Juliet's bed, "What is it? And why?"

Juliet got up onto her elbows. "You don't know? I mean, I know it's meant to be a secret, but I'd have though Foaly would've told you… I'd better shut up now."

Having had a really hard day at work, this was the last straw. Holly filled her eyes and voice with mesmer and looked up to make Juliet reveal all, only to find that the youngest Butler had squeezed her eyes tight shut, had her fingers in her ears and was humming the Thieving Magpie. _D'Arvit._

"I'm not that naïve, Holly!" Juliet sang to Rossini's famous tune – well that's what it was meant to be. She opened her eyes to find the elf sulking on the end of her bed and she had to shove her hand in her mouth to stop herself giggling. "I thought you were meant to be my friend?" She teased, when her voice sounded sensible again.

"And where would we be now if I never used mesmer on you?" Holly replied, her pointy eyes twinkling – one brown, one blue – one hers, one Artemis Fowl's.

"Okay, we'd be dead – but that was quite an important situation – finding out something Foaly hasn't told you isn't!"

"We'd be dead, the human and fairy words would have collided, Arty's dad would be dead—"

"Okay, okay, I get your point." Juliet grumbled. "Now, can a tired human get some sleep?" Holly opened her mouth to speak again - _no chance._

"Look, if you told me what this massive secret is, perhaps I could help, seeing as you won't."

"You really _**wouldn't**_ want to."

"Try me."

"_**Goodnight**_, Captain Short." Juliet pulled the covers over her head.


	5. Chapter 5

A woman's hand with bright red varnished nails lingered over a picture of a black haired girl with a jade hairpin at the end of her plait. "I think we've hit jade this time, Kate." She called to someone in another room. "Nine million pounds worth of it…" Her perfectly manicured hand swept the desk clear of everything apart from the "Jade Princess". Photos of a fat ma in a tin foil hat and a young boy with a cold, multicoloured gaze hit the floor.


	6. Chapter 6

Juliet woke up the next morning in the middle of her king-size bed with the sheets strewn all over the floor and absolutely nothing on. Confident that she hadn't got extremely drunk the night before and lost her virginity to Holly, Juliet presumed she'd had a pretty bad sleep, nightmare wise. She sat up and looked at herself in the mirror – she was a mess. To think that a few words could have had this effect on her… all for a few photos of the Haven president's wife. Juliet groaned and dawdled to the bathroom. After an hour-long bath, she felt a lot better, but no amount of cleaning could get Artemis' words from last night out of her head. She got dressed and rushed through breakfast incase Artemis or her brother came in and tried to talk to her. Dom did come in, just as she was finishing her last bite of toast, but he didn't say anything apart from "Came for you today", gave her an envelope and kissed the top head (which earned him a slap), then walked out again. She grabbed the letter and hurried back to her to the privacy of her room. She opened the envelope and a small business card fell out. On one side her friend Amy had written "If you won't ask a girl out, why not see her?!" She'd put a smiley face and three kisses on the end – a bit unusual for her, but she was rather… odd. Juliet flipped the card over, glanced at it and promptly dropped it. She bent down, ripped it up into tiny pieces and chucked them in the bin. _It's a joke… just a joke._ Amy couldn't possibly know what Artemis had said last night.


	7. Chapter 7

_**New York, 2 a.m. the previous evening. **_

They didn't speak in the jeep on the way to the airport – you never knew what bugs might be installed in these foreign hires vehicles and the things the Butlers and Fowls talked about weren't really fit for ordinary humans to listen in on – most fairies wouldn't want to hear it either. They were quickly ushered through customs, partly courtesy of Butler's influence, partly because all the men in the USA were in love with the Jade Princess. When they got out of the car about a mile away from the jet, the older Butler looked at his little sister. "Race?"

She grinned impishly (although imps do not actually smile impishly, I'm just using a common human metaphor here.) "You're on."

Domitrov picked up Arty in his huge arms, who just rolled his eyes and got out his tablet. "On my mark…" He began in a bored voice. "Get set… go." The siblings shot across the tarmac - if Butlers were allowed to enter the Olympics, a new record mile would be made every day.

Juliet reached the steps of the plane moments before her brother, but "Not fair! I had Artemis!"

"Oh, you big sissy!" Juliet swung herself into the private jet – stairs were for wusses. "I could have carried him too, and still beat you by seconds!" Butler laughed and shook his head. He put his young employer down who calmly went and sat in the business class seats, tapping away on his tablet. Juliet strapped herself in next to him. "Come on Arty, talk to me!" They talked about Artemis's latest finds, Dom's new training regime, Holly Short's apparent lack of promotions – anything apart from whatever it was that should be discussed 'somewhere more private.' What needed more privacy than the Fowl's super high-tech private jet, Juliet didn't dare think about.


	8. Chapter 8

They landed in Ireland on the Fowl Manor runway at midday GMT. "Come on sis, we're here." Domitrov Butler shook his little sister awake.

"Oh brilliant… Jet lag." She groaned. "Knew I shouldn't have gone to sleep…"

Artemis grinned. "You think you'd be used to it by now, running around with us all the time!"

"I am," She jumped up. "I just wanted an excuse to look tired and make you feel guilty." Juliet smirked back at him.


	9. Chapter 9

Artemis seemed determined to prolong talking about whatever it was, so it was three hours later - after being given a tour of the new buildings, playing with the twins and chatting aimlessly to Arty's mum – that they finally got around to it. They were in Arty's office and all the security measures against eavesdroppers were in place… Apart from one, Juliet quickly noticed. Why was a communication channel open with Foaly? She decided not to ask. She'd find out soon enough, she was sure of that. When Artemis still seemed unhappy to speak, Butler said gently "Just get it over with, Artemis." Get it over with… this was sounding worse and worse all the time. The young Fowl nodded. "Foaly has a problem. The President of Haven's wife, an elf of five hundred by the name of—"

"Trixie Elm." Juliet interrupted. "Holly talks about her all the time – she hates her, says she never listens to the People."

"She doesn't," Foaly's voice came out of the speakers, "But that's beside the point."

Arty continued unfazed. "Anyway, she came to Foaly—"

The centaur coughed and started talking, "Seeing as I blew my cover, I could just tell my own story." He paused, waiting for a disagreement from Artemis, but it didn't come. "Right. Trixie came running in about four in the morning two days ago shouting idiotically that she was going to die of embarrassment. I put on my best 'dealing with stupid people' face and asked her how I could help. She said I needed to find the woman. Just the woman, and nick some photos off her." Artemis tapped away quickly on a computer and then showed Juliet the website. The front page was of a woman wearing barely any clothes with a riding crop in her mouth. Juliet raised her eyebrows at Arty. "What… the hell… is this?"

"That's The Woman. Irene Adler. There are many names for what she does… she prefers dominatrix."

Juliet pushed her chair away from the computer – no _**way**_ was she looking through _**that**_ website. Artemis looked at her expectantly. "What?!"

Arty sighed. As is he were talking to a child (not himself) he explained. "People pay her to—"

"I know what a dominatrix is, thank you Artemis."

"Good. Well, then you know what has happened."

"Err… She's got some photos of her and Trixie having… Wait, if they… Then wouldn't she have noticed Trixie's not human?" Juliet tried to stop herself from thinking about where this discussion was going, but failed miserably.

Foaly answered that time, "Which is why we really, really need those pictures back."

Juliet took a deep breath and prepared herself for the moment of truth. "And what is my part in this?" She dreaded the answer. She was right to.

Artemis spoke quickly. "We will pay for you to meet The Woman and you will get her to trust you and then find the photographs."

Juliet noticed he hadn't actually said what she was meant to do, but she understood all right. "You want me to become a client of a dominatrix."

It was a statement, not a question, but Artemis answered anyway. "Yes."

_Finally. A good answer. Short and to the point_. Juliet replied in kind. "No." She got up and walked out without saying another word.

"I told you so…" Butler muttered.


	10. Chapter 10

**The day after, as before.**

Juliet flipped the card over, glanced at it and promptly dropped it. She bent down, ripped Irene Adler's business card up into tiny pieces and chucked them in the bin. _It's a joke. Just a joke. Amy couldn't possibly know what Artemis had said last night._ Even so, it was like an attack from all side… One she wasn't going to give in to. She half expected a phone call to accompany the card, but after another hour none had come, she went train in the newly built gym, not sure what she was waiting for. Dom came and joined her in silence. "Can you fly me back?" She asked quietly.

"You know Artemis won't let you go until you agree to help him."

Juliet whipped her head around to face him on the running machine next to her, nearly hitting his skull with her trademark hairpin. "Well I'm never going to!" She ran faster and the machine struggled to keep up. "Anyway, who gives an honest pixie what Artemis says? I asked if _**you**_ could fly me!"

Domitrov stared at his feet. "You know I can't just up and leave him, especially against his orders."

Juliet sighed. "His whole family are here to protect him in the most secure estate in the country. And anyway, he hasn't actually said I'm not allowed to go back, has he?"

Butler nodded. "He has."

"Marvellous." Juliet flipped off the treadmill and stalked off.


	11. Chapter 11

Foaly's Office, Haven City, Ireland, 7 p.m. GMT

Foaly was busy beating the current high score on "Attack of the Humans" when the VidCall came. He gave a startled whinny and smashed his hands and front hooves on the keyboard to hide the evidence. He spun his considerable bulk around on his specially adapted desk chair to face the VidScreen to see the President of Haven with a suspicious expression on his elvish face. "Morning, Chief!" Foaly desperately tried to keep the guilty neigh out of his voice.

President Benedict Elm glowered at his best technical genius and the centaur shut up pretty quickly. "I am aware my wife has been visiting you and that whenever she returns she seemed… excited." _Marauding mudmen. _It was a statement meant as a question – one Foaly was glad Columbine didn't hear.

"We were discussing… the upcoming elections, erm…"

Before the centaur could elaborate his lies, the President interrupted him. "Also, when I came back from my most recent presidential tour, Trixie was different… in bed… as though she was used to be different type of body." With those last awkward words he looked pointedly at Foaly's hindquarters. Elm let the centaur stammer and stutter for a while, then said icily, "Oh, you don't have to say anything, everything you have to say has already crossed my mind," and disconnected. Foaly stared at the screen, spluttered and put his head in his hands. The door of his office opened quietly and Trixie Elm tiptoed in. Foaly lifted his head and they exchanged desperate glances.


	12. Chapter 12

Juliet arrived at the Fowl's dinner table obstinately fifteen minutes late. She sat down next to her brother and ignored everything apart from the food on her plate. Dom pushed a folded scrap of paper towards her, which she grudgingly opened. To annoy her even more, Artemis (she presumed – correctly, as it happens) had written in Gnommish. The odd characters swam before her eyes for a few moments before her brain formed them into recognisable words.

_The President suspects something. Not the truth – he thinks Foaly and Trixie are 'seeing each other' behind his back._

Juliet pushed away her plate. Suddenly even her brothers best cooking didn't appeal to her. She got up, muttered an apology to Mrs. Fowl and slunk out of the room.


	13. Chapter 13

When she got back to her room another note was lying on her bed. This time in Russian, it simply said "Well?" _Damn you, Artemis Fowl._ She ripped up the note and the tiny pieces joined those of The Woman's business card. _You never take no for an answer, do you?_ Juliet grabbed her suitcase from under her bad and started throwing things in it.


	14. Chapter 14

At one o'clock in the morning, a figure slipped out of their bedroom in Fowl Manor and tiptoed along to the security office. They typed in a password and fiddled around a bit with the controls until the alarms turned off with a timer set to get them on again after ten minutes. Another figure stood in the doorway. "Cutting it a bit fine, isn't it?" Butler clicked on the light to reveal Juliet's incredibly annoyed face. When she looked set to attack him, he raised his arms in surrender. "Woah! I'm not stopping you! Go, go, go, I say!"

Juliet softened. "Thanks, Dom."

He kissed her on the cheek, "I'll sort the alarms."

She grinned, blew him a kiss and shot off. Five minutes later Domitrov heard the distant throb of helicopter engines starting up as his sister made her escape. He chuckled, sighed and then started fooling the computer into thinking that he hadn't set foot in the room.


	15. Chapter 15

Juliet was flying over the Irish Sea when she found the third note.

"Please. Foaly might be exiled for this if it goes on much longer." She gritted her teeth, but she should have known Artemis would have guessed her plan… As she landed on the Fowls' private airstrip an hour's train ride from Gatwick, her phone vibrated as she received a text. She was too annoyed with Artemis to bother checking it until she was sitting on the practically empty early morning tube.

Text from [Amy] Did u get the card? XD

Juliet didn't grace her friend with a reply. Bored, she slipped in a IRis-screen (a recent Foaly invention that enabled instant viewing of most Haven channels inconspicuously) and blinked the correct pattern for Haven News. "…And coming up we later we have the magma flares prediction rate scandal and why Foaly, Haven's tame computer whiz, has been mysteriously exiled…" Juliet blinked so hard the lens fell out. Mysteriously exiled… This was all her fault. When the tube stopped at Gatwick, she didn't get off but reached for her phone and pressed 'reply'.


	16. Chapter 16

Juliet walked apprehensively up to the white door of the Belgravia mansion and rang the doorbell. She had no idea why she was doing this and was about to run away to the nearest bus stop when a pretty woman in a white dress opened the door. She looked at Juliet questioningly, the ushered her in Juliet found herself in an extravagant hallway and was overwhelmed by the smell of roses and hyacinths – her favourite flowers – that were overflowing vases all over the place. The woman who had opened the door came up from behind her and asked, not impolitely, "Why are you here?"

Juliet stammered. "M-My friends sort of forced me to come…" She felt helpless and truly scared for the first time in her life – in the house of two humans, for Pete's sake! The woman looked at her again. She beckoned Juliet into a sitting room and told her that her name was Kate. She sat down and Juliet copied in a white armchair opposite.

"You do know what she is?" Not quite trustworthy of her voice, Juliet just nodded. "Good… And do you have money?"

"My… friends said they would pay for my first… session…" Juliet told Kate awkwardly.

When Juliet seemed unwilling to say anymore, Kate carried on. "So, who are you?"

"I'm… I'm Juliet Butler."

Kate looked blank, then guilty. "Should I know you? Sorry, I'm not really that in touch."

Juliet hesitated again. _The sooner I'm out of this house the better… I hate not being in control! _"I'm the Jade Princess."

_Blimey, _Kate thought, _so that's who she is… she's in for a ride._ "Wow… a WWF fighter's friend can force her to do something?" Juliet didn't answer as the very beautiful woman in the doorway distracted her… _**The**_ Woman and she was extremely naked. Kate got up, smiled in Juliet's direction and walked out.

"Kate?" Irene Adler called out. "If anyone calls, tell them I'm busy."


	17. Chapter 17

The Woman came over and sat on the arm of Juliet's chair, smirking slightly at Juliet's gobsmacked expression. "So… The Jade Princess…" When she didn't reply, Irene asked "What's wrong, sweetie?"

Juliet grinned sheepishly. "I was trying to think of a witty anecdote about your lack of clothes, but I got distracted by…"

"My lack of clothes?" Irene suggested.

"Yeah…" Juliet closed her eyes, shook herself and opened them again.

Irene was staring at her with her on one side. "I like wrestling. And I like wrestlers and you're a cute one." She bent down and softly kissed Juliet's cheek, then drew away again. "But I can't see enough of you to be sure…" Juliet just sat stock still like a rabbit caught in a car's headlights. "Oh, come on, it's hardly fair, is it? Look at me!" Having managed to avoid looking at Irene's chest so far, Juliet was reluctant to look up, but the Woman was so used to it that it didn't feel as uncomfortable as Juliet thought it would. "You don't mean to say you've never undressed for anyone before?" Irene grinned devilishly as Juliet didn't answer again. "Oh, is the little girl a virgin? Interesting…"

_That's it._ Juliet stood up. "I don't like being made fun of." She flicked her plait round onto her chest.

Irene raised her eyebrows. "Oh? Well, then, perhaps you'll show me why I shouldn't?"

Juliet narrowed her eyes. She pulled off her jacket, then her top and jeans. "Is that enough of me to see?" She asked acidly.

"It's quite a lot, but not as much as I'm used to…" Irene replied. _She _is_ pretty… _ Her attitude was an added bonus Irene hadn't been expecting.

"I'm in my underwear, you are _**not**_ getting any more than that. No." Juliet shook her head violently.

"I thought you said to Kate that you knew what I was?"

"I do!"

"Well, then, getting your bra off should be the least of your worries, shouldn't it?" Irene raised her eyebrows. When Juliet didn't move, Irene rolled her eyes and went over to her. With one fluid movement, she pulled down the younger woman's briefs and undid her bra. Quite surprised that she didn't resist, Irene threw the bra on the floor and smiled at Juliet in all her glory. "There you go! Victory should be naked!"

Juliet grimaced. "Hope you don't think I'm as ugly as a Slytheen…"

"_**You**_ are not ugly… not at all." Irene looked her up and down. "Aw, you're all flustered!" She took Juliet's hand and led her over to a seemingly blank wall. She pressed an almost invisible indentation which made the wall split apart to reveal an old-fashioned lift was a metal grill. Irene pushed Juliet inside and pulled the grill. "I'll remove the cause…" She pressed another button and stepped back "But not the symptoms!" The lift began to rise as The Woman turned her back and walked away.


	18. Chapter 18

When Juliet tripped out of the lift on the second floor, she knew exactly what the horribly extravagant master bedroom her feel, even though she'd never had the feeling before – vulnerable. Stupid, really; of all the madly dangerous situations she'd been in, a _bedroom _scared her the most. Something about the room transfixed Juliet to the spot, not least the huge four-poster bed in the middle of it. Another thing that intimidated her was the Rocky Horror Show quote The Woman had thrown out – how could Irene Adler know about her current obsession? But it wasn't that that worried Juliet – it was that now she had 'Toucha toucha touch me' in her head and for the first time ever, she really agreed with the lyrics.


	19. Chapter 19

"You've been very wicked, Miss Butler." Juliet turned towards the door and was stunned again by Irene's startling… beauty.

"Not as far as I'm aware."

"Silly girl." Irene stalked into the room and drew her riding crop across Juliet's shocked face. "You're meant to agree with me… Lie down." Juliet didn't move. "_**NOW!**_" The whip smacked Juliet's chest and she stumbled to the bed. It hadn't hurt, which made it worse. It meant that Juliet had to admit to herself that she would probably do anything this woman – The Woman – asked of her. Irene's lips came out of nowhere and Juliet was suddenly having her first kiss. It didn't set he heart on fire, or make it explode, like it did in those mushy books for teenage girls, it just was. And it was amazing.


	20. Chapter 20

Neither woman knew how long they were there, lips interlocked but nothing else. For Juliet, it felt like a lifetime but still too quick when the dominatrix broke away. It took the Butler a few seconds to realise that, whereas before she had just been lying on the bed, now she was tied to it. Irene smiled down at her. Why? More to the point, why was Juliet smiling back?


	21. Chapter 21

"Look at you… not so flustered now, are we?" Irene ran her whip along the centre of Juliet's trembling body and followed its path with her fingers. The red painted nails stopped just after her navel and then slid across to her hips. Juliet shut her eyes and tried to ignore Irene's other hand when it fell on the opposite hip. "I could cut myself slapping those hipbones… I think I'll try, don't you" Juliet opened her eyes to see The Woman looming over her with a leg either side of hers. Juliet shut here eyes again quickly.


	22. Chapter 22

Juliet's sense returned with the first minuscule burst of pain. She felt the restraints on her hands – pathetic. At the second slap, she pulled sharply on her right leg and tried not to grimace as it came free – The Woman didn't actually _**hurt**_ her clients, after all. Juliet released a limb each time Irene's hand came down and as her left arm came out of its shackles she pushed herself up – and collided with Irene a lot sooner than she had expected to. "Ooh, that was quick!" The dominatrix placed a finger on Juliet's lips and forced the girl back down. "A bit silly of me – its difficult to have sex with your arms tied up." _That was _not_ why I got out! _Juliet opened her eyes and then shut them again as it became incredibly difficult to look anywhere apart from Irene's boobs. Juliet grabbed The Woman's waist and was about to push her off when "That's the spirit!" and the older woman kissed her full on the mouth. _What?! I'm here to save the fairy kingdom from possible exposure, not to enjoy myse—not to have sex!_ Irene's tongue slid down into Juliet's cleavage. _What the hell… Arty said get her to trust me…_She pulled Irene down on to her. If Juliet had been in a sentimental mood, she might have thought that their bodies fitted together as if they were made for each other, but she knew that that was just how human anatomy worked… wait, no it wasn't… She gave up on thinking.


	23. Chapter 23

Their legs wrapped around each other's, Irene held Juliet's breasts in a vice grip as Juliet pulled the dominatrix down until she was underneath the wrestler. Irene smirked and reassumed the doming position. Grinning madly, Juliet continued the roll and in a tangle of limbs they hit the bedroom floor. Juliet's head snapped back and she laughed – who would have thought that something that hurt that much be so _fun_? Irene pulled her up and stood over her in one impossibly smooth movement. "This time, sweetie, you really need to _stay_ tied up… hmm?" Before Juliet had time to gather her thoughts, Irene said "Lovely" and dragged her up to one corner of the four-poster and pushed her against the pole. _I'm smaller than she is but I could easily KO her,_ Juliet plotted as Irene kept one hand on her chest as she read for a long length of black rope. _I have to go no – I'm not exactly Houdin—_Irene pressed against Juliet and snogged her, effectively stopping all thoughts of escape. When the dominatrix drew away Juliet was completely tied to the post, with her plait around her throat and attached to the opposite side of her head with her trademark hairpin. She was also, inexplicable, upside down. Irene's head came into view as her hands ran down Juliet legs, who shivered in anticipation… But it didn't happen. Instead, Irene's hands carried on past her navel and eventually gripped her breasts, her nails piercing the skin. With a quick peck on the cheek, The Woman left Juliet's field of vision. "Time's up, honey." Her disembodied voice floated down towards Juliet. "I'll get Kate to bring up your clothes." Juliet heard the click of high heels going off into the distance, and then she was upside down, naked and alone.


	24. Chapter 24

Her head was really starting to hurt with all the excess blood that comes from being the wrong way up for any amount of time. She tried to pull herself out of her bonds, but as she'd been think before she'd been so brilliantly interrupted, she wasn't exactly Houdini. What _was_ she doing here? She was an _idiot_ to agree to Artemis' plot, an absolute _idiot._ But Foaly… She groaned loudly at the thought of what the centaur and his wife must be going through just as Kate entered her sightline looking respectively dressed and carrying Juliet's clothes. The maid didn't say anything as she set down the bundle and untied Juliet, who fell most ungracefully into a heap on the floor. She get dressed too quickly whist Kate stood in the doorway and watched.


	25. Chapter 25

As Kate held open the front door for Juliet, the older woman asked "Same time next week?" Juliet nodded without thinking, but Kate shut the door before she had time to correct herself. She sighed, walked in the direction of Victoria Station, shamefully realised that is she _had_ thought about it she would have asked for sooner and tried not to think about what she would say to Artemis and Butler that evening.


	26. Chapter 26

Juliet was pretty sure she was the only person alive capable of getting past the Fowl Manor defences undetected, but it involved crawling through tunnels a certain flatulent dwarf had _sworn_ he'd collapsed, and that wasn't a pleasant experience in winter, let alone in the sweltering heat of the hottest day in August. By the time she'd crept into her own room she was covered in mud and something she really hoped wasn't what it looked like. She stumbled into her en suite shower with all her clothes on and stood under the torrent of water for a good half an hour. Try as she might, though, she knew she could never wash away the days experiences and her feelings for The Woman behind them.


	27. Chapter 27

When Juliet appeared at the Fowls' dinner table again, no one questioned her absence – not out loud, at least. She could see from the corner of her eye, as se helped Myles pick up his dropped fork, straightened Beckett's napkin, talked to Angelina, that Butler was watching her every move intently, with a confused expression on his face. Well, _that_ was a conversation she was going to put off for as long as possible. Artemis – well, he _might _have looked a tiny but smug, but it was impossible to tell. When Juliet set down her knife and fork after barely picking at her food, Myles piped up, "You didn't finish your first course yesterday either, are you ill?"

Juliet gave him a false smile, "No, I'm fine" and asked to be excused.


	28. Chapter 28

Butler caught up with her in the corridor outside her room, "What the _**hell**_, Juliet?!"

"I couldn't not do it… Foaly's been exiled."

Butler blanched, but not at the second piece of information. "You went to… her?!"

_D'Arvit. _"I… I had… Yes." Juliet pushed past her brother and into her room. She shut the door behind her and set down on – Holly. _Well, this day just gets better and better. _Juliet rolled off the elf and lay down face first on her bed. "Evening, Captain."


	29. Chapter 29

Somehow, in the time it had taken Juliet to visit 44 Belgrave Square and Irene Adler, her bedroom had become home to Holly (which wasn't unusual) and Foaly's wife, Caballine (which was). Holly was perfectly content to sleep on Juliet's bed, separated by a duvet, but Juliet didn't have a clue how centaurs slept, so she left that to Caballine. The badass Nine Pins fighter was off on a romantic trot around the Fowl Estate with Foaly, which left Juliet and Holly in the uncomfortable position (at least for the human) of having just each other to talk to. "So, where you been?"

"I've been to London, to see the Queen." Juliet replied grouchily. "Actually, I think I get to ask what in Frond's name is going on, because this is _**my**_ bedroom."

Holly didn't see the logic in that, but she wasn't about to argue with Juliet in this mood. Her decision wasn't from past experiences – Holly couldn't remember Juliet being anything apart from happy. _But she is a twentager, always a difficult time for elves… But Juliet's human. Well, that was a first, treating a human as the same species. Wow._ "Well, what do you want to know?"

Juliet gave her a withering look. "The obvious?"

_Definitely twentager hormones._ "Foaly's only living friends are you lot, me and Mulch, and I don't think Mulch is in a fit state to offer him hospitality."

Considering that Mulch Diggums, kleptomaniac dwarf, was in prison for the umpteenth time, Juliet doubted it too. "Okay, why did you come along?"

Holly shrugged. "I know a good time when I see one."

Juliet grinned briefly. _You can always count of Holly Short to cheer you up._

"So… your turn!"

_Scratch that._ "Well, what do you want to know?"

Holly did an uncannily good impression of Juliet's withering look. "The obvious?"

After a pause, Juliet decided to tell her the truth… or some of it. "I ran away because my bruv said that Arty wouldn't let me leave until I'd agreed to… his plan. But then I saw in London that Foaly'd been exiled because I'd run away so I had to go… had to do what Arty wanted me to."

Holly sniggered. "Got any evidence?"

Juliet frowned. "No."

"Meaning you sneaked out to see your boyfriend?!"

Juliet sucked in a sharp breath in shock at how close the elf had come to the truth. "I… I don't have a boyfriend." Before Holly could continue, she changed the subject. "Aren't you meant to be on duty?"

Holly grimaced. "Yeah, well…"


	30. Chapter 30

Juliet ran lightly past Artemis's office, hoping he wouldn't notice her – a silly hope because he obviously wanted to know what had happened.

"Juliet…"

She sighed, then turned back and into his office. "Yeah, Arty?" When he didn't say anything, she made a face. "I didn't get the photos."

"Obviously. When are you going back?"

She hesitated. "Next week."

He turned around to his computer. "I'll make you another appointment for the day after tomorrow."

That was when Juliet lost it. "_**You**_" she took down one of the ornamental knives from the wall and flung it at his desk. Is speared some important looking paperwork. "Do _**not**_" She threw another "Tell _**me**_" and another "What do you with my love life!"

Artemis chose not to comment on her accidental revelation of her feelings for The Woman, which was wise for the next knife would have _accidentally _found its way into his hands. Nothing a little magic couldn't fix, but still painful. Instead, he carefully pulled the knives out of his desk, felt the wood they'd cut and tutted. "That's mahogany." Juliet sent the final knife straight through his chair, millimetres away from his back. Softer this time, "I'll take that as a yes to the appointment."

Juliet stopped on the way out of the door. "Yes."


	31. Chapter 31

44 Belgrave Square, London

"So, the Jade Princess." Kate and Irene were sat around their candlelit dinner table – a constant in an otherwise changing life.

"Has just made an appointment?"

Kate looked up from her iPhone and grinned. "Yep." They ate for a few minutes in silence. Kate would never admit it, and Irene would never tell her, but their relationship had become more like a Butler's and a Fowl's than two equal lovers. Well, they'd never been equal, but it was only gradual that Kate had become the servant and Irene the master. "How far did you take her?"

Irene raised her eyebrows. "Weren't you watching?"

CCTV had been installed when they'd moved here – all accessible from Kate's laptop. "You know what I meant."

"Why did I stop there?" The Woman sipped her wine. "She's young."

Kate snorted. "You, worried about a girl's virginity?

Her… girlfriend? smiled. "Are you telling me how to do my job?"

"'course not. I'm just giving you relationship advice."

"Well, I need to keep her wanting. If only to make her give me that hairpin."

"I noticed that. The Empress Pin, correct?"

Irene nodded. "They finished the meal in silence. As Kate started clearing the plates Irene stood behind her and kissed the back of her neck. "How about it tonight?"

Kate stopped. "Really?"

"Really really! I'm aware you haven't appreciated my skills in first person for much longer than I should have let you… I'll see you upstairs." A smile broke out on Kate's face as The Woman left the room and when Kate got in bed that night it was the quickest she'd got undressed for many months.


	32. Chapter 32

Fowl Manor, Ireland, the next day

Juliet floated through the day with as much attention to what was going on around her as a duck to a… _In Frond's name, I can't even make a metaphor work!_ Juliet stomped along the empty corridors. What she needed now was a really good _**fight**_. But no one could challenger her apart from her brother, and losing wouldn't really satisfy her need for action. _D'Arvit, this is bad. Really bad._ She'd realised a while ago that she'd been counting the hours until her 'appointment', but she hadn't able to stop it. She knew damn well what kind of action she was craving and it wasn't appropriate for… well, _anyone_, to be wanting. _Oh well. Twenty six hours, thirteen minutes… When did I start counting the minutes?!_


	33. Chapter 33

_**44 Belgrave Square, London, twenty six hours, thirteen minutes later**_

Kate opened the door for Juliet again. "She's waiting upstairs for you." Juliet nodded and tried to climb the stairs like a normal person. _Normal person? What am I playing at?!_

Irene Adler lay on the bed in all her glory, her perfectly manicured hands tapping away at an iPad. She looked up. "Finally." Juliet stood in the doorway, paralysed by… Irene. "Well, don't just stand there, get you bloody clothes off?" When Juliet seemed unable to obey, Irene sighed and went to help. "So dramatic, honestly." The Woman slipped of Juliet's top with practised ease and the younger girl gasped as Irene's breasts touched Juliet's sort-of-four-pack as she swiftly relieved her client of her trousers. All foreplay apparently used up two days ago, Irene pushed Juliet towards the bed and their intertwined bodies moved into pastures new. For Juliet, that is.


	34. Chapter 34

Their breasts in each other's hands, mouths, legs, their hands on each other's waists and between each other's legs. Their bodies became a single thing, moving together like a swimmer in a rough sea. Their hair matted together, their breathing coming in gasps between kissed and they both knew something was different this time. There was the obvious difference; that Juliet was no longer a virgin; but it wasn't that. It was something subtler and it originated in Irene Adler.


	35. Chapter 35

Juliet suddenly sat up, pushed Irene off her hot, sticky body and breathed deeply. "What have I done?"

"You've had sex." Irene stated blatantly.

"I noticed!" Juliet replied, in an almost confused voice.

"Good. But we are _not_" Irene straddled Juliet and pushed her shoulders back onto the bed. "We are _not_ finished!"

Juliet moaned with pleasure as her lover pulled her fingers through her tangled hair, but leaned away when she moved in for another kiss. Juliet propped herself up onto her elbows and pressed a finger to Irene's lips as she started to protest. The Woman didn't say anything just reached threateningly for her whip on the bed beside her. "NO!" Juliet slapped Irene away and slid out from underneath her. "This is so _wrong_!"

Irene laid her head across Juliet's lap. "What's so bad about it?" She reached up to tough Juliet's breast, but was batted down.

"Everything! I'm more than ten years younger than you!"

"And neither of us has a dick… normally that's the first thing people say."

Juliet ignored the reminder that she wasn't the first to be fucked on this bed, or even the hundredth. "You know why I'm here?"

"Of course I do. You're meant to be here for the photographs… I'm not sure why you are, though." D'Arvit, neither was she. That was when Juliet remembered that Artemis Fowl the Second was an expert at faking hand writing, and it probably wouldn't have been that difficult for him to 'acquire' Amy's phone. Oh, the little bugger. She felt Irene's head move on her thighs. Oh yes… the photographs. "And you're not going to give me them?"

"I don't 'give' evidence like that to anyone. Ever." _Well then, that was alright, nothing to worry about not, they could just carry on without the pictures weighing on their minds_. "Of course, I could get a _**lot**_ of money for these particular pics…" _Maybe not…_ "Although you could convince me otherwise…" Irene was suddenly millimetres away from Juliet's face.

"Well… It's worth a try.." Their lips locked together and they fell back towards the mattress again.


	36. Chapter 36

Kate sighed and minimised the CCTV window with a mouse-pad tap. Irene was never like this with her normal clients… there was usually a lot more whipping and a lot less loving. When Kate had first loved Irene she had watched her and whoever every time a client came, but now she only watched when her mistress deemed them special enough to introduce herself in her 'battle suit'. So far, no one had even begun to challenge Kate… but today was different. The last time Irene Adler had acted this way, it had been Kate interlocked with her body… As far as Kate knew, they were still 'on', but their relationship wasn't governed by sex – it wasn't very appropriate when one of them was a dominatrix. Kate bit her lip and shut the laptop's lid. She'd just made it to her bed when the tears started.


	37. Chapter 37

_**Fowl Manor, Ireland, the next day**_

Juliet woke up to an odd noise and someone leaning over her. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes to see a maliciously grinning Holly above her. "D'Arvit!" Juliet scrambled into a sitting position. "What is it?" In answer, Holly held up Juliet's phone – the screen showed [_one new message_]. "Oh thanks." She reached for the mobile, but the elf snatched it away.

"Who's got your number?"

"A lot of people. Why? Give me my phone!"

Holly held it tantalisingly just out of Juliet's reach. Too tired to move, she just raised an eyebrow. And then lowered it again as the 'odd noise' sounded again and she knew why Holly was so interested. "What the _**hell**_was that?!" Holly couldn't even shrug before the sound came again. A loud, erotic sigh filling the silent room.

"I think the question is _who_ the hell is that."

Juliet leapt out of bed, but Holly dodged away. "Well, I won't know who it is until I get my phone back!" Holly reluctantly handed it over, though Juliet didn't need to check the number to know who. She'd been hearing that sigh in her mind over and over since yesterday and it wasn't annoying her. _Until now_. She checked her inbox.

[Morning sweetie!]

[Sleep well? I didn't. Lets have dinner.]

[You're coming on Saturday? I can't wait that long. Lets have dinner.]

Yep, she'd recognise that sigh anywhere. Juliet lay back on her bed and smiled at what would be on the menu on Saturday… God, she couldn't wait that long either.

"Well, who's it from?" But she had to, and the reason why was speaking.

"It's from Amy. Friend from London."

Holly coughed. "And what's 'Amy' said that made you smile so much?" She didn't make quotation marks in the air around 'Amy', but she might have well as done.

Juliet opened her mouth to carry on lying badly, but then the door opened, Caballine trotted in and Juliet and Holy collapsed into giggles.

"What are you two up to?" The centaur asked as she brushed her tail in the mirror.

"Nothing!" As one, the elf and the human made the standard, never accepted, schoolgirl reply. Irene Adler's sigh filled the room again.

"That's nothing, is it?" The girls were overcome with hysterics again.


	38. Chapter 38

Juliet had always been rubbish with technology, but it had never bothered her before. Now, she had to carry her phone around in a pair of sock to muffle the sighs that came from it about once every two hours. Holly didn't understand human tech, Caballine had gone out for the day (Juliet had no idea where, it wasn't exactly easy for a centaur to blend in) and Arty and Foaly were in his office, making sure that Haven didn't collapse without its guardian centaur. Juliet knew she would have to speak to her brother eventually, but she'd been hoping it would be after this… affair? had finished. Butler was sitting in the armoury, cleaning his latest addition – a personalised Neutrino 4000 made specifically for him by Foaly. He looked up when she came in and gripped her in a hug that could have been mistaken for an attack – apart from when Butler attacked you, you are in no mood to compare it to his hugs. "What does a man do when his baby sister is seeing a dominatrix?"

Juliet frowned. "On that man's client's orders."

"Well, yes. What does he do?"

"I wouldn't know. I've never been in that position."

"Jools…" He sighed. "I'm not worried about your… I don't care what she's done to you physically…" He smiled. "I don't care if you've had sex with her."

"Good. Now, can—"

"I do mind what she's doing to you mentally. Ah-ah!" He held up a finger to stop Juliet." You think _she_ thinks you're special. You _**do**_. But she doesn't think that. In a month, or a week, or a day, she'll just drop you and move on. On to someone more interesting, with more money, better protection to provide or more experience. To her, you are just a money maker. One of many."

Juliet threw up her hands. "How do you _**know**_?"

"Because she's a dominatrix! It's what she does! Makes someone feel special until they stop paying!" Juliet's eyes shot daggers at him. Then – _bloody hell, my phone's fallen out of the sock._ "What was that?" Butler didn't pick up the Neutrino, but his hand hovered over it.

"Proof." She checked the message.

[What's it like out there in Merry Ireland? Bet it's not a merry as we are…]

"What dominatrix nicks her normal client's phone, changes their text alert to _that_ and then starts sexting them?"

"I wouldn't know. I've never been in that position." Butler held out his hand for the phone, and to his surprise, she gave it to him. He laughed. "That's why you came, isn't it? To ask me to put your phone on silent.

Juliet nodded sheepishly.

He tapped for a bit, all arguments seemingly forgotten, then frowned. "I can't. Password protected."

Juliet flicked her hair over her shoulder and looked. "Well, I've never set it, so it's probably four zeros."

He nodded typed it in and shook his head. "You said she nicked your phone?"

Juliet nodded. "Brilliant. She locked my _**text alert**_?!" She took the phone from him and turned it off. "I'll never guess it."

Butler sighed. "You could ask Artemis…"

"Ha. No."


	39. Chapter 39

The Fowl table was a bit full that night – the two centaurs taking up most of the space. Myles and Artemis Sr. expressed no surprise at half horses, unlike Beckett and Angeline. When they trotted in, Beckett – "Amazing!"

As one, Myles and his father – "Meretricious."

Angeline, dryly – "And a Happy New Year."

Angeline and Caballine soon struck a chord – Angeline was very interested in her 'wheelchair' device, somehow used to disguise her pony half. That left Holly to explain to the twins whilst the Butler siblings looked on and laughed. When both Artemises and Foaly seemed to run out of things to say about security systems and how slowly humans were catching up with the People in the realm of security systems. Juliet jumped in before they could find something else to talk about. "What are you going to say to President Elm, if you do get the photos back?"

"I'm leaving that to Foaly." Artemis II replied quickly.

"I'm leaving that to Trixie." Foaly replied even quicker.

"Well, she can't exactly contact you, she's in enough trouble as it is, without speaking to an outlaw."

"That's when the ARClights come in!" Foaly looked like he was about to overflow with pride. He did. "They are miniature robots that I designed for surveillance, but with a little modification can be used for communication." He suddenly tapped his watch and a few seconds later, a dragonfly flew in. Juliet looked at Foaly, then back at the 'dragonfly', grinned then tuned herself out of Foaly's proud chatter.


	40. Chapter 40

_**Two days later, midnight on Friday**_

Holly and Caballine had been asleep for hours, but Juliet tossed and turned. She wasn't hot, cold or uncomfortable is was just _ONLY FOURTEEN HOURS TO GO!_ She couldn't stand it. She reached under her pillow for her phone and turned it on. As soon as it had signal – 'Aah'. Holly woke up, looked at Juliet saw the phone in her hand, laughed and went back to sleep. Juliet opened her inbox.

[131 new messages from [Irene Adler]]

Juliet grinned and started reading.


	41. Chapter 41

Her senses came back to her slowly. First, the feel of silk being pushed over her skin. Second, the sound of Irene deliberating over something. Third, the smell of perfume – roses? Fourth, the sight of Kate as she opened her eyelids. Fifth, the taste of Irene's flesh on her tongue as the camera flashed when Kate captured the moment. **What**_ more fabric running over her body_ **in** _Kate moving her arms and legs_ **Frond's**_ Irene positioning herself around her _**name **_another flash_ **is**_ fabric being taken off her _**going** _Irene placing a whip on what she liked to think was her four-pack_ **on?!** Why couldn't move? Well, she could, as Kate was demonstrating, but not on her own. _How?… the prick on my shoulder… am I __**drugged**__?! This isn't the plan! I'm meant to be stealing incriminating evidence, not making more!_ Her fingers clenched. Kate was nowhere near… _I can move! _She tensed, only to find Irene's head was between her legs. _I can't. I can't go now… She'd never let me come back… That must __**never**__ happen._ Juliet relaxed her muscles again. _Why am I bothering to pretend?_ "I'm awake." Juliet whispered.

Irene looked up. "Good. You're bloody heavy."

Kate came over. She was obviously the imagination behind the pictures. "Right. Irene, sit on her lap… actually, put your legs out Juliet." Kate pushed Irene's head back into Juliet's cleavage, pulled Juliet's plait around her face and wound it the other way around Irene's, then put the end of between Irene's lips. She pushed a riding crop into Juliet's mouth – "bite down on it!" – and told them to put their arms behind their backs. "Okay, that's alright. Hold it…" She took two photos – one landscape, one portrait. "Right. Juliet hold her boobs…"


	42. Chapter 42

Her senses came back to her slowly. First, the feel of silk being pushed over her skin. Second, the sound of Irene deliberating over something. Third, the smell of perfume – roses? Fourth, the sight of Kate as she opened her eyelids. Fifth, the taste of Irene's flesh on her tongue as the camera flashed when Kate captured the moment. **What**_ more fabric running over her body_ **in** _Kate moving her arms and legs_ **Frond's**_ Irene positioning herself around her _**name **_another flash_ **is**_ fabric being taken off her _**going** _Irene placing a whip on what she liked to think was her four-pack_ **on?!** Why couldn't move? Well, she could, as Kate was demonstrating, but not on her own. _How?… the prick on my shoulder… am I __**drugged**__?! This isn't the plan! I'm meant to be stealing incriminating evidence, not making more!_ Her fingers clenched. Kate was nowhere near… _I can move! _She tensed, only to find Irene's head was between her legs. _I can't. I can't go now… She'd never let me come back… That must __**never**__ happen._ Juliet relaxed her muscles again. _Why am I bothering to pretend?_ "I'm awake." Juliet whispered.

Irene looked up. "Good. You're bloody heavy."

Kate came over. She was obviously the imagination behind the pictures. "Right. Irene, sit on her lap… actually, put your legs out Juliet." Kate pushed Irene's head back into Juliet's cleavage, pulled Juliet's plait around her face and wound it the other way around Irene's, then put the end of between Irene's lips. She pushed a riding crop into Juliet's mouth – "bite down on it!" – and told them to put their arms behind their backs. "Okay, that's alright. Hold it…" She took two photos – one landscape, one portrait. "Right. Juliet hold her boobs…"


	43. Chapter 43

"I can't do that!" Juliet was exhausted and a lot happier than she'd been three hours ago.

"Your friend could." Kate replied.

"Yeah, well her body's suited to it! Her kind are much more flexible than us, they've got a different bone structure…" Irene and Kate just looked at her as she trailed off. "D'Arvit."

Irene raised an eyebrow with almost elf-like skill. "I'm glad Myles and Beckett aren't going to have a bodyguard, you'd be rubbish."

Juliet grinned. "I'm a lot better at something else, though…"

"God, yes." Irene took Juliet's hand and they very nearly skipped to the bedroom.

Kate ignored them and locked the photography studio. When she walked past the door, the bed was already bouncing up and down. "I'm doing Shepherd's Pie for dinner, is Juliet staying?"

The lovers giggled as they remembered the many texts concerning that dinner. Irene muttered a "no" and then closed her mouth over something soft that she then explored with her tongue, to its owner's delight. Kate walked slowly down the stairs. She had never asked that about a client before, but she'd been quite surprised when the reply had been negative. Things were changing, far too quickly for her liking. She knew why Irene had had sex with her on Monday now. It had been an apology in advance. Great. Kate grabbed a recipe book on the way past the library – Shepherd's Pie was too easy to make – she needed to concentrate on something other than the two people upstairs. Five minutes later, when she was halfway through the Italian cooking section, the doorbell rang. She got up and pressed the button to view the CCTV footage of the outside hall. She didn't recognise the man in a smart suit outside - cold caller, probably. She held down intercom. "Hello?"

"Hi, I believe I have an appointment with Miss Adler? Am I at the right house?" The man had a soft Irish accent.

"No, she's fully booked at the moment. Did you book on the website?" She didn't usually conduct conversations about the business on the pavement, but something about the man made her stop before she opened the door.

"Oh no, it's not a booking like that. I contacted her last week, she said she was interested in my offer and that I could call any time?"

Kate frowned. _That was last week. Everything changed now. _She unlocked the door. "Come in, I'll ask her." She showed him through to 'safe that no one must ever know about' room, or 'STNOMEKA' as it was affectionately known to the two house owners, asked what name to give and went upstairs. Irene and Juliet were still at it, but she just walked in and started talking. "There's a man downstairs, says you made an appointment." No response. "Jim Moriarty?" Irene shot out of bed and grabbed her heels.

"Juliet, under the bed. Kate, send him up here." Juliet and Kate exchanged bemused looks, then hurried to obey as Irene ran off in the direction of her room-size wardrobe.

_What to wear to meet him? The consulting criminal…_


	44. Chapter 44

Eventually she decided on a little red slip, touched up her nails and stalked out into her bedroom again. Obviously, she didn't actually sleep there, but still. Moriarty was lying on the bed when she came in. "Off. Now."

He looked at her, this woman who dared to order _**him **_about, and liked what he saw. "Why?" _He's Irish… _

"Because" From her un-vantage point underneath the bed, Juliet heard someone hit the floor. "I told you so." _Wow._ Was that why Irene had called him up, not gone down to meet him? So she would be top dog in her throne room? _Well, he'd better not take up too much of the evening._

"So, do tell who's hiding under the bed."

_D'Arvit. _"Who's hiding under the bed is none of your business."

He laughed - a harsh, but not faked, sound. "Well, won't whoever it is come out and say hello?"

A few seconds later her clothes were chucked under the bed. Kate crouched down to help. "What the hell?" Juliet mouthed. "Haven't the foggiest." The maid replied. When she emerged from the floor, she heard her fellow Irishman gasp. _I don't look that bad, do I? _"What?"

She saw a flash of recognition, or something like it, at her accent, but then his eyes went back to her hair. "What's wrong with my hair?"

Juliet felt Irene tense beside her. "It's not your hair." The Woman grabbed the end of her plait and held it up. "It's this."

"That? My brother got it for me at a boot sale!"

"I really doubt it." Moriarty seemed unable to stay away from the unassuming semi-precious stone hairpin and came and sat on the bed to get nearer.

Suddenly, Kate snatched the pin from Irene, took Juliet's hand and pulled her away.


	45. Chapter 45

"What was that for?"

Kate pushed Juliet down in a chair and fired up her laptop. "I don't trust him. Or Irene, for that matter, not really." She brought up the CCTV for the master bedroom and Juliet dragged her chair closer.

"… Holmes. He's quite famous at the moment, his boyfriend's got a popular blog."

"I've heard of him." Irene did something on her iPad. "I didn't know they were actually together."

"Oh, they're not. They should be. I ship them. Oh well. Anyway, you know that code you said you'd acquired? He can crack it. And I need that code."

Irene lay back on the bed. "How much are you offering?"

"Lets say that with that money you would treat that hairpin like that Irish girl does – a trinket, bought at a boot sale." His last sentence was laced with sarcasm.

Juliet hit the mute button. "What is it with this? It's just a piece of old jade!"

Kate considered for a moment, then searched 'empress pin' into Google. "That old piece of jade has a history of murder and worse behind it."

She passed the laptop to Juliet. A few moments later – "Last valued at _**nine million pounds?!**_"

Kate took the computer back. "Yeah. You might want to ask your brother about that." She minimised Internet Explorer in time to see Irene address an envelope in blue ink and hand it to Moriarty who got up to leave. "You'll be hearing from me, Irene."

"I'm counting on it." As soon as he left the room, she turned to the hidden camera and pulled off her dress. "I'm waiting." The two women watching her moaned as one when she took off her bra, but only one of them got any more than a glance on a laptop screen.


	46. Chapter 46

"Who was that?" It was an hour after he'd left and the two lovers were lying in each other's arms.

"James Moriarty? I'm surprised he isn't a household name." Irene laughed. "Sorry, I mean manorhold name. He's the biggest criminal in the world, I'd say."

"You are talking to the Fowl family's Butler."

"Well, they've reformed, haven't they? I don't see Jim reforming."

"Point…" Juliet ran her fingers through Irene's hair. "What is he to you?"

"To me, he's an entertainment from before I met you. Now he's a distraction while I wait for you."

Juliet sighed. "My brother doesn't believe that."

Irene turned to face her. "Believe what?"

"That you… never mind." Juliet could almost hear Butler in her head… _If you can't tell her that you think she thinks you're special, what does that say about it?_ "D'Arvit, it's seven o'clock!"

"You don't have to go…"

"I do." Irene kissed her but she got up and got dressed. "I'll be back, don't you worry!"

Just as Juliet left the room, Irene called out. "The code i E, Princess."

"Aw, you sweetie!" The Jade Princess smiled as she walked towards the station. On the train she eventually found where Butler had got stuck yesterday on her phone and entered the correct password.

[Password protected, J A D E]

She unlocked it, but then realised she couldn't change the noise. She still hasn't.


	47. Chapter 47

The days passed into weeks. No one said anything about the photos, they all seemed confident of Juliet's abilities – well, all apart from Juliet. While The Woman had said she could 'convince' her, but nothing had come of it Juliet was on her way to her fourteenth session when Foaly texted her.

[Message from [Big Headed Horse]: Do you need any help? I'm always here…]

She didn't reply. She did need help, but she didn't know what kind. Juliet breezed past Kate towards the stairs. "Jools…"

Juliet turned on the first step. "What is it?"

"She won't see you. She's busy."

Juliet raised her eyebrows "From me?"

Kate looked uncomfortable. "Yes." She passed Juliet and continued up the stairs. "If you come back tomorrow?"

"O…okay…" Juliet sat down heavily on the step. Butler's voice came into her head again. _I told you so… No. I won't believe that._ She got up and looked around, which she hadn't actually done before. _No, Pollyanna, this is a good opportunity. _Juliet started with the hall, _Where would Irene Adler keep her photographs?_ Once satisfied there was no where possible to hide a safe there, she moved on to the next… She came to what must have been the CCTV room and searched the screens for any sign of a hiding place. Then the last screen caught her eye. A man with curly black hair was lying on the floor and Irene Adler was standing above him in what looked like a trench coat. Her riding crop was draped across his face and a smile was on hers. "Don't spoil it, Mr Holmes, it's been a pleasure. This is how I want you to remember me. The woman who beat you." Then she turned and left the room.

Juliet's ears rang with her words and her brain went numb. _What had been a pleasure?!_ She looked back at the screens. A man with a military haircut came in, saw Curly Black Hair on the floor, sighed, tipped him over his shoulder and walked of the room. _Curly Black Hair is drugged…_ Juliet's subconscious told her. She followed the two men through the house and onto the pavement. Another man with silver hair laughed as he saw Military Haircut and Curly Black Hair, whipped out his phone and started recording. Juliet searched the other screens for The Woman and saw her sneak into her car behind Curly Black Hair, Military Haircut and Silver Hair. Juliet pulled out her phone.

[Message to [Big Headed Horse]: Pls snd dragonfly ASAP!]

[Message from [Big Headed Horse]: There's one in your bag. And they're called ARClights!]

Juliet ignored his indignant comment and shoved her hand in her bag and started searching. _There you are._ Her fingers closed around a humming little metal insect. As she let go of it, it hovered to eye level. She found the control joystick and plugged it into the central computer. With a few taps from her PSP trained fingers, the dragonfly shot through the front door and latched itself onto Irene's car just as it puled out in pursuit of the other vehicle. The monitor flickered into life to show the very interesting view of the boot of The Woman's car. Juliet cast around for something of Adler's. She held the black shawl on to the joysticks and the fairy technology inside it told the human tech computer to show pictures of the person who owned the most DNA on the material. Irene Adler flashed up. Juliet told the ARClight to follow her. A message flashed up in the corner of the screen.

[What's going on?]

She typed a reply to Foaly.

[I'm getting the photos.]

As an after, she added

[My brother had better not be watching this.]

A few seconds later…

[Don't worry sis, I am.]

Brilliant.


	48. Chapter 48

As the car slowed down the dragonfly hovered just out of Irene Adler's sight. She didn't get out. There were the worst few minutes of Juliet Butler's life. Messages from Foaly repeatedly popped up and were repeatedly ignored. Silver Hair walked past the dragonfly. Kate silently came and sat down behind Juliet. The two woman were somehow comforted be each other although no one spoke. A movement – the car door opened. Irene stepped out, still in that ridiculous coat. Kate snorted. "She's not wearing anything under that."

In spit of herself, Juliet grinned. "Why am I not surprised?" On the screen, Irene walked up to an ordinary door – 221, according to the gold letters on the front. Another message flashed up as Irene waited for an answer.

[That's 221 Baker Street, residency of John Watson, Martha Hudson and Sherlock Holmes. I love that guy, brilliant website, fantasshdoifhkja;]

Juliet recognised her brother's style in the keyboard smash, but she was barely concentrating… _Holmes…_ Where had she heard that before?

"That's who that Irish guy, Mori… Moriarty was talking about." Kate seemed able to read minds sometimes. Juliet gave a small nod and turned her attention to the screen again.

A drained looking woman in a cerise cardigan had opened the door. "Yes, dear?" She seemed confuse by Irene's coat, for some reason.

"I was caught in the rain this morning, Mr Holmes was kind enough to lend me his coat. Do you mind if I take it up to him?" Her doubts cleared, Cerise Cardigan smiled and showed her in. She didn't notice the robotic insect fly in, or that it hadn't rained for days.


	49. Chapter 49

Irene walked right behind Military Haircut – "John Watson" Kate whispered – without him noticing. She slipped into a dark room and shut the door behind her. Curly Black Hair was lying on a bed in the middle of the room. Suddenly, Kate minimised the screen. "You don't want to see this, Jools, trust me."

Juliet didn't reply at first. "She didn't think I was special, did she? I was just a money maker…"

Kate hesitated, and then hugged Juliet like a sister. "She did. She really did. But she's like that. She doesn't stay with one person – ever. I was her longest, and that was six months." In the awkward silence that followed, Kate got up. "I can't watch it, anyway." She left the room. Juliet sighed, then reached over and maximised the screen again. The coat lay discarded on the floor. A syringe was placed on the bedside table. Curly Black Hair, who according to Foaly was this Holmes person, seemed to be coming to. He opened his eyes and seemed confused to see Irene's boobs in front of his face. But then, there probably weren't very many people who were. Although the number was considerably more than Juliet presumed. Irene put her finger on his lips. "You'll only be awake for ten minutes and then you'll be back to sleep and think no more of this night's night accidents as but a dream. But I definitely need you lucid for this." She unbuttoned his far too tight shirt and Juliet cut live feed. Kate had been right. She didn't want to see this.


	50. Chapter 50

Juliet just sat and stared into space. She was numb. After some unknown time the front door clicked open. Juliet looked up at the screen. Irene, actually dressed now, had walked in. Juliet followed her across the computer monitors listlessly. The Woman appeared on the screen for the 'STNOMEKA' room, whatever that was. Juliet recognised it as where she'd first met Irene. Irene went over to the mirror above the fireplace. She reached under the mantelpiece and something happened that made the mirror rise up. A safe was revealed that Irene tapped six digits into, then ducked. Something shot out above her head, which she ignored. She put something into the safe. A phone? _A camera phone… _Irene walked up the stairs. She locked herself in a room with no CCTV footage. Juliet stirred. _The camera phone…_ Without thinking about it, she ran to the safe room. She felt around under the mantel and found a lever. The mirror mechanism whirred and the locked safe appeared. Six digits… She slipped in an Iris-screen and selected PrintScreen. After a few seconds, the device showed her all the fingerprints on the safe. Juliet had to stifle a laugh. _Is she really that vain?! _

4 , she dropped to the floor as a gun fired overhead. She looked inside, closed her hand around the camera phone and—

"Having fun?" The Woman's voice came icily from behind her. When Juliet turned around there was a knife across her throat. "Give me that phone."

_You can't threaten me, I could get out of this easily. _But she didn't say it out loud. She just dropped the phone into Irene's waiting hand.

"Now, get out. And don't come back." She wasn't worried about using clichés.


	51. Chapter 51

Juliet to the station, fidgeted around waiting for a Tube, annoyed everyone on the train, ran through Gatwick, flashed Butler's 'Access All Areas' to get on a Business Class flight for NYC, went mad for a few hours, took a sleeping pill and woke up eight hours later in America.


	52. Chapter 52

Her muscles were burning, the exercise was tiring her out. But there was no more waiting. It hadn't just been a dream. Irene Adler had told her not to come back. So she kept on fighting, kept on distracting herself. The others noticed that a change had come over her. She trained like there was no tomorrow, she fought with a determination that couldn't be stopped. She spoke to everyone, all the time, but no one got bored of her because she never used to speak. No one knew what she did when she was alone though, which was trawl the Internet for anything to do with The Woman, James Moriarty, Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, their landlady, Silver Hair whose name was apparently Greg Lestrade. She learned about their lives, their friends, their enemies, their siblings, their lovers. She tried to ignore the fact that her name only came up in any of the Internet searches when she found the photos of her and Irene. That brought on a whole new bought of crying. It was the twenty fifth of December when she heard the news. Exhausted after a gruelling Christmas Day show, Juliet had fired up her computer to check if anything had happened since she checked it in the morning. She was half asleep and about the click the cross in the corner when she noticed it.

'DOMINATRIX, CODE NAME THE WOMAN, FOUND DEAD'.

No, God no. No, no, no. I wasn't possible, it couldn't be. _Nothing is impossible, the word itself says I'm possible. Shut up, Audrey Hepburn. She is not dead._ Even so, Juliet packed her bags and went straight back to Ireland in a daze.


	53. Chapter 53

When she got back to Fowl Manor, to her surprise the first thing that happened was that she was engulfed in a hug from Calabine. The centaur picked her up like a baby and carried her all the way to her room at a gallop. It was only when Juliet was sitting in bed with a cup of hot chocolate shoved into her hands that she realised why. She was crying, must have been for a long time. Probably ever since she'd left New York, which would explain her terrible eyesight on the way home. She'd been crying over a fucking dominatrix for about twelve hours. It was amazing there was enough liquid left in her body to do whatever it was water was meant to do to keep you alive – she's always been a natural at science. Why were random thoughts like that popping into her head? Then all inferior memories were obliterated as a vivid image of her first kiss shot to prominence in her mind, quickly followed by the moment she'd lost her virginity and many others like it. Beautiful, amazing images and ones she would never experience again. She started at an imaginary Irene and remembered everything about her – her hair, running through Juliet's finger; her eyes, boring into Juliet's own; her lips, caressing every part of Juliet's body; her breasts, the taste of her skin in Juliet's mouth; her hips, the weight of them pressing down on Juliet's body; her vagina, the feel of the soft skin on Juliet's fingertips; her legs, powerfully gripping Juliet's own… All were committed to memory for when Juliet needed them. She knew she would.


	54. Chapter 54

She went to dinner in her pyjamas because she couldn't be bothered to get changed. Quietly, after the Boxing Day crackers had been pulled, Artemis turned to Juliet. "You really need to get those photographs now. They'll be published soon, with or without her permission."

Juliet nodded, thought for a moment, then jumped up. _Sherlock Holmes. If anyone can help us, he can._ She shouted goodbye as she raced out of the door. It was only when she got half way across London when she realised she was still wearing her dressing gown and PJs. _Oh well, Arthur Dent strikes again._ She finally found 221b and happened to randomly be there at the time Mr. Holmes interviewed potential clients. That was when Juliet realised that she would never be able to say the word 'client' in the same way again. Most people would have been uncomfortable standing in a queue full of strangers, wearing only their night clothes, but Juliet had given up being embarrassed as soon as she'd stepped into Irene's home.


	55. Chapter 55

The speed with which the queue disappeared was extraordinary. Men, women, even two small girls, went into a room looking positive and came out disgruntled, that being the polite term. Pissed off was more like it. When it was Juliet's turn, she had absolutely no idea what she was going to say. _Hey ho, my Arthur Dent impersonation is improving all the time._ She walked in, ignored the odd look from Dr. Watson and sat down on the little chair. The words tumbled out of her mouth before she though about them. "My sister has had an affair with a woman who took something—"

"I'm sorry for repeating myself, John, but I don't like mystery at both ends of my cases. Get out." Sherlock stood up and held open the door for Juliet. She tripped over the rug on the way out, caught onto Holmes to regain her balance, apologised and hurried out. She flew, for want of a better expression as she hadn't improved her Arthur Dent impression that much, down the stairs and out of the house. A taxi dropped off its passengers and Juliet was just getting into it when she heard a commotion in 221 Baker Street and heard a cry of _"That woman's got my phone!"_ She smiled. _Time to get out of here._ Of course, technically it wasn't Sherlock's phone. It was Irene Adler's and it was by pure chance that Juliet noticed it poking out of his jacket pocket. It had surprised her that he took that long to notice, really.


	56. Chapter 56

She was back at Fowl Manor, in her bedroom, which felt oddly lonely without Holly, who'd gone back on duty. It turned out she'd been waiting for something – the Council's conformation of her promotion to commander! Juliet had laughed when she heard that one. Anyway, The Woman's camera phone... It was locked. Juliet doubted Holmes had guessed the code, but she had a better chance at guessing. In a mad hope, she entered the one four digit code she knew Irene had used.

[I am

J A D E

locked]

[Incorrect. Three attempts remaining.]

The screen looked like it was staring back at her smugly.

[I am

locked]

_D'Arvit. _She though about trying something like her safe, but Irene wasn't double d cup, an was the only thing she could think of. But then it hit her. _D'Arvit, Irene was a clever bitch_. And had completely moved on from Juliet.

[I am

S H E R

locked]

The phone unlocked and Juliet managed to cry some more when it did. _Idiot. She was a dominatrix, for Frond's sake._ She'd been lying to herself, Butler had always been right. But now she was going to just forget Irene Adler as a lover and concentrate on her as a blackmailer. The photographs. Juliet spent ages trying to find a folder with pictures. Eventually she came across some folder names – 'Sherene', 'Julirene', 'Morene'… What were they meant to mean? She selected 'Sherene' and soon found out what it meant – a weird sort of paring name for Sherlock Holmes and Irene Adler. Juliet forced herself to look through them and she noticed that there weren't very many – obviously Sherlock wouldn't co-operate whilst he was lucid. Julirene. Well, she could guess that one and self control or not, she could look through that lot. Morene. Juliet had no idea who the white-blond haired man was on the floor with Irene, nor did she care. She flicked through tons and tons of photos but couldn't find the diminutive First Lady anywhere. The date in the corner of the photograph said two years ago, for Frond's sake, she wasn't going any further. She sighed, and fell back on her bed. No sign of Trixie Elm anywhere, compromising or not. All that for nothing. Well that was that. Time to tell Trixie. She cartwheeled along the corridors, semi-faking her good mood, but half extremely happy it was all over. Two cartwheels before Artemis's office she stopped short and got out her phone and Irene's. By some miracle she worked out how to send the 'Julirene' photos to her own phone and then felt even happier as she deleted them from the Woman's. Artemis opened the door as Juliet reached for the handle, but her training ensured that she didn't fall over. Yes, Madame Ko actually teaches her pupils what to do in a door opening emergency. "They're not on there." Artemis and Juliet said at the same time.

_Of course he knows already. Damned genii._ She nodded unnecessarily. "What now?"

He shrugged – probably for the first time in his life, he was trying very hard to be normal at the moment. "It's out of our hands now. We leave the rest to Trixie Elm."


	57. Chapter 57

It didn't really hit Juliet until that evening. She'd done it! But then when she went back to her room, Caballine was there to dampen her spirits. The centaur was packing her saddlebags. She smiled when Juliet came in. "Don't know when we'll actually be allowed back to haven, but I miss my little house, so I'm going to be ready!"

Juliet grinned back, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. _ What am I going to do with my life?_


	58. Chapter 58

For two days, Juliet sat in her bed and watched her friends on the other side of the world play fight for the big screen. She'd made a pact with herself not to think until the end of the week. It was a very nice feeling. It wasn't Juliet that broke the pact, which she hadn't forseen. It was Trixie Elm. She seemed to have got herself into a rut as she burst into Juliet's room at four in the morning shouting something about The Woman. Juliet presumed she was dreaming, because the next thing Trixie said was "Help me, Juliet Butler, you're my only hope!" Juliet knew she was dreaming because Trixie had spoken with a straight face and it wasn't possible to say those words seriously. Unless you'd never seen Star Wars, which was an unknown phenomenon to Juliet. _How can a person live without George Lucas?!_ Then Juliet woke up and asked Trixie what the matter was. The tiny elf gave a little shiver, and then keeled over onto the bed. Juliet sat up and was relieved to see that the elf was breathing, as Madame Ko's extensive training hadn't involved resuscitation techniques for creatures with such fragile bone structure. In fact, her guest was only asleep and Juliet copied her. What must have been hours, but only felt like minutes, later, Trixie shook the Butler awake again. "Please, Miss Butler."

Juliet blinked a few times to clear the sleep. "What? What else can I do? I found the phone, it wasn't on there."

"But I know she took those pictures! It's not something I'm likely to forget!"

"Me neither." Juliet muttered under her breath.

"Sorry?"

"Nothing. So, how do you suggest I go about searching?"

Trixie's hysteria disappeared, to be replaced with the harshness of someone who is used to being obeyed. "You found the phone without my help. Get on with it." She turned and stalked out of the room, leaving Juliet a bit shell shocked. _Shell shocked… Sherlocked. Damn you, Holmes, it's always you, isn't it. You took her away from me._ Because Juliet knew it wasn't Irene's fault that she'd left her. Irene was like that. It was Sherlock's fault, for being so damned interesting. Juliet sighed, decided she'd better get dressed this time and went to prepare the helicopter for take off.


	59. Chapter 59

As Juliet walked around the corner into Baker Street, John Watson came out of number 221 and was immediately captured by a girl. Well, he talked to her for a minute and then got in her posh black car and drove away. Juliet pulled her jacket belt tighter and ran. Thanks to her training and the London traffic, she caught up with the car a few blocks away, outran it slightly and wished she had a better knowledge of the capital so she could have a clue where she was going and then take the back routes. But she didn't, so she just had to trust the power of her legs. Eventually the car stopped outside an old power station. _Battersea_. She shadowed Watson as he left the car, and then the girl. As soon as he was out of hearing, the girl got out her phone. "You were right. He thinks it's Mycroft." _Mycroft Holmes. Elder brother of Sherlock. Is Watson actually being abducted?_ Juliet climbed up a rusting ladder and ran on tight-rope walkers' feet along a cold metal pole until she was directly above John Watson. Then he sighed as he saw something


	60. Chapter 60

As Juliet walked around the corner into Baker Street, John Watson came out of number 221 and was immediately captured by a girl. Well, he talked to her for a minute and then got in her posh black car and drove away. Juliet pulled her jacket belt tighter and ran. Thanks to her training and the London traffic, she caught up with the car a few blocks away, outran it slightly and wished she had a better knowledge of the capital so she could have a clue where she was going and then take the back routes. But she didn't, so she just had to trust the power of her legs. Eventually the car stopped outside an old power station. _Battersea_. She shadowed Watson as he left the car, and then the girl. As soon as he was out of hearing, the girl got out her phone. "You were right. He thinks it's Mycroft." _Mycroft Holmes. Elder brother of Sherlock. Is Watson actually being abducted?_ Juliet climbed up a rusting ladder and ran on tight-rope walkers' feet along a cold metal pole until she was directly above John Watson. Then he sighed as he saw something that made Juliet nearly fall on top of him.


	61. Chapter 61

John ran off after the sound that, to him, meant that his friend was here, and to Juliet, meant that she had to go, _**now**_. It was the sound of Irene Adler's sigh. She flipped off the high catwalk and sprinted towards the door. She leant against the frame as a ghost walked towards her. Because Irene was dead. But that was who was walking towards her. There was no emotion on either of their faces. "Well?"

Irene brushed past her and out of the power station. "Weren't you listening?"


	62. Chapter 62

Trixie was waiting to ambush Juliet at the Fowl Manor gates. "Well?"

Juliet winced at the accidental quote and just carried on walking. "Nothing. Case closed." She slung her jacket on a hook and turned to the crestfallen elf. "Just tell the President what you did. There's no way I'm ever getting those photos back now."

Something in Juliet's voice made Trixie hold her tongue. She just nodded and ran off in the direction of Artemis's office. A few seconds later, Foaly cantered around the corner, screeching to a halt in front of the Butler. "What's up with her?"

"It's over. I can't get those pictures, no one can now. Apart from maybe Sherlock Holmes." Juliet wandered slowly down to her room and locked the door behind her. _Nothing. Case closed… It's over._ When she was woken up three hours later by a beautifully familiar sound, her opinion changed.

[One new message]

[I'll never reveal them. Lets have dinner.]

_Here we go again._


	63. Chapter 63

Kate opened the door almost immediately, but stood in Juliet's way. "What the hell is going on?" She hissed through her teeth.

Juliet shrugged. "Haven't a clue. Mind if I go up?" Without waiting for a reply, she pushed past a bemused Kate and climbed the stairs. Juliet turned the corner and there she was, exactly as she'd memorised her. Irene Adler, in all her glory.

"What in Frond's name are you doing with all your clothes on? Unconventional as they may be, they're still rather covering."

Juliet grinned. Somehow those little sentences made everything all right. "I have absolutely no idea." She shoved off her dressing gown and pyjamas and flipped onto the bed, and onto The Woman.


	64. Chapter 64

Irene pulled Juliet's head out of her breasts to kiss her once more and it was like Sherlock Holmes had never happened. Juliet noticed Kate come in at one point, but the maid just sighed and walked out again. Not that the two women on the bed would have minded if she'd stayed. They wouldn't have minded if the whole of London watched… Juliet memorised the shape of every part of Irene's body with her hands and lips, because this wasn't going to last. Of course it wasn't. Juliet didn't have a clue why she was here now, but it _**couldn't**_ last. Then she banished those thoughts from her head, to be replaced by thoughts about Irene's boobs.


	65. Chapter 65

Irene held Juliet's hands and they stopped moving. "You want to know why I'll never reveal them." It wasn't a question, but Juliet nodded anyway. "Mainly because of you. But you don't believe that, so…" She lifted Juliet's hands to the side of her head, to her ears. Juliet raised her eyebrows. "Just keep looking, you'll find it." And there it was. I tiny ridge on her smooth skin, in exactly the same place on each ear.

"I found it…"

"Do you understand it?"

Juliet hesitated. "…No."

"I've had plastic surgery. On the tops of my ears."

Juliet put her head on Irene's shoulder as it sank in. "To get rid of the points."


	66. Chapter 66

_**Two days later, Fowl Manor**_

Juliet chucked everything in her suitcase faster than a centaur on her way home and shot off towards the front door again, changing direction quickly to Butler's room, ignoring the fact that he was mid-conversation with Trixie. "I'm going. I've got a principal and I can't leave them unprotected." Juliet kissed him on the forehead. "I'm surprised she's survived this long, especially being an elf." She sprinted out again.

"Wait!"

She twisted around.

"Did you get your Blue Diamond without telling me?!"

Juliet rolled her eyes. "As if. No, my principal was perfectly happy with me being the only female to have ever passed the physical exam. I didn't really give her a lot of choice." Juliet was barely within hearing range for her brother's next shout.

"WHO IS IT?!"

"WHO DO YOU THINK!"

Butler grinned at Trixie.

"Irene Adler!" She whispered.

_Go, little sister. _Out loud, all he said was "Adler's a fairy?"


	67. Chapter 67

_**Three months later, Saudi Arabia**_

"You are not going out there on your own"

Irene Adler looked up from her bootlaces. "I am your principal and you do not disobey orders from me."

Juliet Butler came into the candlelight. "Oh yeah? Go on then, order me."

Irene leant on Juliet's shoulder. "I can't let you. It's too dangerous."

"Which of us nearly has her Blue Diamond? I can't let _**you**_."

The Woman stood up straight again. "Butler, I order you to stay here."

Juliet hesitated. Then she reached out to kiss her lover on the lips and vanished back into her room without a word. And Irene left the safe-house, alone. Which was her mistake.


	68. Chapter 68

The hooded man pushed Irene to her knees and handed her her phone. "You will say goodbye." Her hands didn't tremble as she sent one, then another text. Then they took her phone, and then she heard it, coming from behind her and from… No, it was just behind her. Following it, a voice in her ear. "When I say run…" But it wasn't the voice of Sherlock Holmes that made her smile. It was the sight of something on the opposite side of the circle of her cloaked imprisoners. The flash of a jade hairpin.

_**And that's it! I don't know what to do with my life now…**_


End file.
